squoogy.com

The US government’s plan to boost energy savings by moving Daylight Saving Time forward by three weeks was apparently a waste of time and effort, as the technological foibles Americans experienced failed to give way to any measurable energy savings.
…
As it turns out, the US Department of Energy (and almost everyone else except members of Congress) was correct when they predicted that there would be little energy savings. This echoed concerns voiced after a similar experiment was attempted in Australia. Critics pointed out a basic fact: the gains in the morning will be offset by the losses at night, and vice-versa, at both ends of the switch. That appears to be exactly what happened.

Reuters spoke with Jason Cuevas, spokesman for Southern Co. power, who said it plainly: “We haven’t seen any measurable impact.” New Jersey’s Public Service Enterprise Group said the same thing: “no impact” on their business.

| Posted by: Kimberly | Link to this post |

Scene:

At the Den of Squooge, fast forwarding Tivo through a commercial. First, and ad for Hillary Duff’s perfume comes on. About a hour later, an ad for Britney Spears’ new ‘fragrance’ comes on.

Kimberly: So Hillary and Britney have competing perfumes now, eh?

Jim T.: What is the smell of ’skank’?

| Posted by: Jim T. | Link to this post |

So the Republican Governor of Massachusettes, Mitt Romney, is getting his panties in a bunch because of problems with the Big Dig. Ya’know, the whole silly ‘budget spiraling out of control from $2.5 billion to $14.6 billion’ thing, the fact that more than 90% of Bostoners don’t feel safe using the tunnels… of yeah, and the woman that dies when a section of the tunnel collapsed on her car. Silly little things.

So Mitt says to the Turnpike Authority chairman Matthew J. Amorello: ‘Hey man, you need to pack yo’ shit and hit the road.’

And then Matt’s all like: ‘Nuh uh!’

And then Mitt’s all like: “Yuh huh!’

And then Matt’s all like: ‘You can’t make me!’

And then Mitt’s all like: ‘Don’t make me come over there.’

And then Matt’s all like: “Touch me and I’ll sue!’

And then Mitt’s all like: ‘Bring it, bitch!’

And then Matt’s all like: ‘Fine! You’ll miss me when I’m gone!’

And then Mitt’s all like: ‘Not likely.’

Cut to Saturday, when Mitt is giving a speech in front of about 100 supporters. He’s admitting that it’s a big polictical risk taking control of such a quagmire of an issue, what with his possible presidential campaign in 2008, and he says to the audience, “The best thing politically would be to stay as far away from that tar baby as I can.”

Now stop. Reread the quote. Look for two little words.

Yeah, that’s them.

Tar baby. Nice.

So today, Mitt’s spokesman, Eric Fehrnstrom, said Mitt was describing “a sticky situation…. He was unaware that some people find the term objectionable and he’s sorry if anyone’s offended.”

Nice to know that the leader of the great state of Massachusettes, and 2008 Presidential cantidate, has such a firm grasp of racial slurs.

| Posted by: Jim T. | Link to this post |

Hiccups Utter stupidity kills two

BOGOTA, Colombia (Reuters) - A Colombian man accidentally shot his nephew to death while trying to cure his hiccups by pointing a revolver at him to scare him, police in the Caribbean port city of Barranquilla said on Tuesday.

After shooting 21-year-old university student David Galvan in the neck, his uncle, Rafael Vargas, 35, was so distraught he turned the gun on himself and committed suicide, police said.

| Posted by: Kimberly | Link to this post |

MPAA admits to unauthorized movie copying.

ON PREVIEW: Okay, so I lied. I couldn’t help myself.

Three things come to mind:

1. DOOOOOOO’OOOOOH!

2. Does this mean that they’re going to have to sue themselves?

3. What does this mean for all of the pending lawsuits, where the RIAA is suing people based on the intent of finanial gains?

| Posted by: Jim T. | Link to this post |

You’ve got to love the sophistication and cunning of the criminal mind. Or maybe you just gotta laugh.

| Posted by: Rita | Link to this post |

19-year-old freshman at the University of Colorado arrested for trying to buy an iPod for $4.99, after he planted a bogus bar code on it.

I think my favorite part of the article is his impassioned plea to prosecutors:

I will NEVER EVER DO THIS EVER AGAIN and I am once more terribly sorry,” Baldino wrote. “Please let me go for I am terribly sorry!!! I’m only a kid! Help me out. I just want to go home. I did this not knowing of the serious penalty that lies behind it. Please! Please! Please!

| Posted by: Jim T. | Link to this post |

Don’t fuck with librarians

[vi mefi]

| Posted by: Kimberly | Link to this post |

This made me laugh.

| Posted by: Kimberly | Link to this post |

With a special nod to Kimberly, I must say that this film is

NOT

for everyone. And that’s probably the understatement of the year. No, seriously — it’s worse than that. Really. Whatever you’ve heard has not been emphasized nearly enough.

Hell, I enjoyed it. :)

| Posted by: Mark the Bowler | Link to this post |

It’s either laugh or cry.

A private developer contacted the local government in Supreme Court Justice David Souter’s hometown in New Hampshire yesterday asking that the property of the judge – who voted in favor of a controversial decision allowing a city to take residents’ homes for private development – be seized to make room for a new hotel.

…

According to a statement from Clements, the proposed development, called “The Lost Liberty Hotel” will feature the “Just Desserts Café” and include a museum, open to the public, “featuring a permanent exhibit on the loss of freedom in America.” Instead of a Gideon’s Bible in each room, guests will receive a free copy of Ayn Rand’s novel “Atlas Shrugged,” the statement said.

Clements says the hotel must be built on this particular piece of land because it is a unique site – “being the home of someone largely responsible for destroying property rights for all Americans.”

…

“This is not a prank” said Clements. “The town of Weare has five people on the Board of Selectmen. If three of them vote to use the power of eminent domain to take this land from Mr. Souter we can begin our hotel development.”

| Posted by: Kimberly | Link to this post |

HELLO

| Posted by: Kimberly | Link to this post |

I’ve really gotta side with the wife on this one. If you can’t be honest with the woman you’re marrying…

| Posted by: Mark the Bowler | Link to this post |

The scene: Two glasses of wine and a bottle of Tequila Rose later…

Kimberly: What’s in that movie with Liam Neeson?
Kimberly: With the skin?
JimT.: Darkman?
Kimberly: Yeah. Adam Ant looks like that.

T.: I have never had a mullet.
Rita: I think I accidentally had a mullet.
Kimberly: I think there’s a topical cream for that.

[ push against cold shower wall as punishiment ]
JimT.: That’s ok, my ass took the brunt of it.
Kimberly: … You realize that’s going on the blog, completely out of context.
JimT.: You won’t if you know what’s good for you.
Kimberly: Deep down in places you don’t talk about at parties, you WANT me on that blog, you NEED me on that blog.

T.: … oh poop.

T.: … and then those F’ers–
JimT.: Oh honey, you can say fuckers here.

Kimberly: His name was Curry.
JimT.: Curry, curry?
Rita: Like Curry Panang?
JimT: The fuck?
Kimberly: I’m sure they have a cream for that.
T.: Wait. What?
Rita: Curry P-A-N-A-N-G. It’s Thai curry.
T.: OH! I thought you said type of KOOLAID.

JimT: There’s Anger, Denial, Depression, Attrition …
Kimberly: There’s no attrition.
JimT: Whatever.

T.(with broken leg): If I have to pee, I’m sliding up on my ass.

Kimberly: If you can’t laugh at your gimpy friends, then who can you laugh at?
T.: Kimberly, I love you, but you’re an asshole.

The next morning:

Rita (to herself quietly): Ooohhh there will be coffee soon.
Kimberly: Are you chanting to yourself for comfort?
Rita: It’s what I’m saying to myself to keep my heart beating.

And yes, the random quote generator has been updated.

| Posted by: Kimberly | Link to this post |

Choose your own adventure: 90 days in jail, or give up your Packers season tickets for a season.

I’d do the time. Seriously.

Especially because this could be Favre’s last season.

You would have to pry the season tickets out of my cold dead hands.

| Posted by: Jim T. | Link to this post |