Kimberly: Does that Camry have spinny rims?
Jim T: Yes, yes it does. But only on three wheels. And the driver is a middle-aged Latino gentleman.
Kimberly: Why would you put rims on a Camry??
Jim T: I don’t know, but I think it’s officially a Blamry now.
Kimberly: Oh no you didn’t.
Jim T: BLAM-ry.
| Posted by: Kimberly | Link to this post |
Kimberly: : When faced with danger, the octopus can wrap six of its legs around its head to disguise itself as a fallen coconut shell and escape by walking backwards on the other two legs, scientists discovered.
Jim T: : Wacky.
Jim T: : But awesome
Kimberly: : I wish I could disguise myself as a coconut shell.
Kimberly: : It would be a great way to get out of awkward conversations …
Kimberly: : People would be all, “Where’s Kimberly? She was just here and now there’s just this coconut that’s slowly drifting backwards. Darn.”
Jim T: : That would be a good disguise. Unless someone had a sudden hunger for coconut.
Kimberly: : True. But their befuddlement at my disappearance would distract them from any coconut-related hunger.
| Posted by: Kimberly | Link to this post |
Kimberly: Speaking of the taxonomy of flatulence …
Kimberly: I unwittingly introduced the term “pointy fart” into our lexicon this weekend.
Rita: WHY is there not an appropriate emoticon for that?
Rita: *dies*
Rita: and also? “taxonomy of flatulence” is Tragic Battery Failure’s first album.
Kimberly: hahahahaha
Kimberly: and Pointy Fart is the first single.
Rita: *COLLAPSES*
| Posted by: Kimberly | Link to this post |
Kimberly: So I read this statement:
Kimberly: “At five o’clock we are going to Pies N’ Pints for a big famjam dinner.”
Kimberly: And thought it said “Pie N’ Pants”
Jim T: Hahahahahah
Kimberly: That would be an awesome restaurant.
Kimberly: Pie N’ Pants. It makes me want to chuck it all and open that restaurant.
Jim T: Heh. The pies could come in a little pair of pants for take-home transportation.
| Posted by: Kimberly | Link to this post |
[ the scene: Dropping Jim off at work so I can stare out the window at the Hybrid all day and have an excuse to drive her multiple times ]
Kimberly: Just let me know when you want to come home for lunch.
Kimberly: Not that I’ll be around. I’m going to Mexico!
Jim T: … And you could get there on two tanks of gas!!
| Posted by: Kimberly | Link to this post |
Rita: three words: Jon Stewart sandwich.
Kimberly: Who’s on the other side?
Kimberly: Is it BACON?!
Rita: IT IS NOW!
| Posted by: Kimberly | Link to this post |
Kimberly: Do you know what the slogan for the Colorado state fair is?
Jim T: No.
Kimberly: “This fair rocks.”
Kimberly: heheheheheheh
Jim T: Heh.
Kimberly: I mean, way to go ad firm.
Kimberly: Or fair people.
Kimberly: Because I wouldn’t ordinarily go to a state fair, but if it rocks I might consider it.…
Jim T: So when is the ‘rocking’ fair?
Kimberly: aug 24 - sept. 4
Kimberly: there’s a rodeo and howie mandell and a tractor pull.
Kimberly: and ….
Kimberly: REO SPEEDWAGON!!!!
Jim T: Wait, wait wait….. you’re telling me that there’s a rodeo. And a tractor pull. AND Howie Mandell?
Jim T: AND REO SPEEDWAGON?
Kimberly: yes!! YES!!!
Jim T: Holy Jebus!
Jim T: That’s WAAAAY too much for just ONE fair!
Kimberly: It really does rock.
| Posted by: Kimberly | Link to this post |
Kimberly: guess who comedy central is roasting?
Jim T.: Snoop’s mom?
Kimberly: william fucking shatner
Kimberly: August 20.
Jim T.: OH, we’re recording that.
Kimberly: yeah I figured.
Jim T.: Although I’d rather see it unedited.
Jim T.: Not just fro the bleeping, but they’d edit for time too.
Kimberly: heh. I read it “not just the fro bleeping”
Kimberly: and imagined people with pixelated heads.
Jim T.: Hahahahaha
Jim T.: That would be kinda cool if someone grew a huge fro, and then shaped it like a hand with the middle finger extended.
Kimberly: bahahaha!
| Posted by: Kimberly | Link to this post |
Jim T. is eating a caesar salad.
Jim T.: Nice.
Kimberly: Find a lettuce core?
Jim T.: It’s the lettuce anus.
Kimberly: blank stare
Jim T.: The Romanus.
Kimberly: Oh no you didn’t!
| Posted by: Kimberly | Link to this post |
Jim T: I read an article where John Cleese calle Eddie Izzard the lost Python.
Kimberly: Yeah, I’ve seen that.
Jim T: Also, it’s Mr. T’s birthday.
Kimberly: blank stare
Jim T: And Al Franken’s. They share a birthday.
Kimberly: Dude. Shower time is not Useless Fact Corner. It’s no fair when I’m a captive audience.
Jim T: It’s more fun that way. It’s like shooting ducks in a barrel.
Kimberly: The expression is “It’s like shooting fish in a barrel.”
Jim T: Whatever. At least I didn’t say that it’s like shooting quailtards.A few minutes later…
Kimberly: Shooting ducks in a barrel would be hard because they could always fly away.
Kimberly: And even if you had said fish in a barrel, that wouldn’t really apply here.
Jim T: I’m glad I could give you something to think about in such depth.
| Posted by: Kimberly | Link to this post |
Kimberly: For the record three cans of water and one can of frozen grapefruit juice equals 56 oz.
Jim T: Uhhh. It should be 48. 12 oz x …
Kimberly: Well it’s not. It’s 56. Kiss my ass. The frozen grapfruit juice has more volume than the water.
Jim T: Uhhh. No it doesn’t, it …
Kimberly: Don’t judge the grapefruit juice, bitch. It doesn’t judge you.
Jim T: Yes it does. It judged me all night.
Kimberly: And it gave you … sixes.
Jim T: And herpes.
Kimberly: *collapses*
| Posted by: Kimberly | Link to this post |
I’m in deep coding mode for a ColdFusion consulting project (which is why there haven’t been very many updates–except when I was procrastinating).
Until that’s wrapped up, here’s a conversation that made me laugh:
Jim T: Plus, a state financial audit of the CU fotball department found some descepancies
Kimberly: hahaha
Jim T: descrepancies.
Kimberly: and “football” i’m assuming :D
Jim T: link to story
Jim T: No, it was actually the fotball dept.
Jim T: It’s a small department.
Jim T: Only two members
Jim T: It’s a modified form of hackeysack.
Kimberly: hahahaha
| Posted by: Kimberly | Link to this post |
So I was going through my old hard drive looking for mp3s so I could find some music to motivate me to finish up my project for finals and I found a lot of old files from the original squoogy.com journal. I shall be posting bits and pieces later on, but in the meantime I hope you’ll enjoy a conversation Mark and I had back in 2001:
| Posted by: Kimberly | Link to this post |
Jim T: I was talking to the Peaberry’s manager and …
Jim T: Oh and then the manager at Peaberry’s said …
Kimberly: So you really bonded with her.
Jim T: Totally, we’re getting married as soon as our divorce is final.
[ pause ]
Kimberly: You know I’d stalk you, right?
Jim T: I love you baby.
Kimberly: ??
Jim T: Just knowing that you love me enough to prevent my happiness with another woman… that’s true love.
Kimberly: Oh baby, I love you enough to prevent your happiness period.
| Posted by: Kimberly | Link to this post |
To be so close, and then to lose out on a technicality.
How quickly would you change your citizenship if this happened to you?
| Posted by: Mark the Bowler | Link to this post |
