Mark: One downside of half.com. Their search engine is funky and screwed up.
Mark: Example:
Mark: I search in their movies category. Search term: bowling.
Mark: A lot of their things make sense. A couple of bowling training videos, Kingpin, the Big Lebowski...okay...
Mark: Then some stuff that isn't really related to bowling...
Mark: Then I get to number 27.
Mark: "Hot Sex in Bangkok"
Kimberly: I bet there's bowling in it.
Mark: You think so, huh?
Kimberly: I do.
Mark: Well I'm not spending $30 to find out.
Kimberly: $30 for porn is pretty good.
Mark: And I'm guessing IMDB doesn't have a detailed review.
Mark: Is it?
Kimberly: porn is super expensive.
Mark: Never purchased a porn.
Mark: No idea what it costs.
Kimberly: Uh yeah.. me neither ...
Mark: grin
Kimberly: I actually haven't.
Kimberly: But I'm intimately acquainted with a few people who do.
Mark: I just thought porn was something you rented.
Kimberly: there's that too.
Mark: Ooooh...you are SO smart.
Mark: Check this out:
Kimberly: I know.
Mark: "A group of bowling buddies pool their resources and pay a visit to the exotic city of Bangkok. There they learn the sensual secrets of the Orient."
Kimberly: see?!
Kimberly: That movie *really* scares me now though.
Mark: Why?
Mark: Oh man, that's got nothing on the next movie...
Kimberly: Bowling buddies and Thai sex. Both scary things independently.
Mark: HEY!
Kimberly: 0:)
Mark: "Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama"
Kimberly: bahahaha.
Kimberly: buy it!! buy it!!
Mark: Only $4.99.
Mark: You buy it.
Kimberly: You should totally buy it.
Mark: "Three misfit college students steal a bowling trophy that contains an imprisoned, genie-type imp who grants wishes that cause the deaths of several students."
Mark: I will *not* buy that.
Kimberly: bahahaha. do it!! do it!!
Mark: Not gonna happen.
Mark: Now how the hell can Halloween be on this list?
Kimberly: I bet there's bowling in it.
Mark: No...the city of Bowling Green was mentioned in the description.
Mark: Now this one I've heard of and would watch just for amusement: "Nude Bowling Party."
Mark: "Just as the title suggests. League play gets interesting when two teams of dancers and models square off at the lanes, with a $15,000 prize at stake for the sexiest player. Regulation shoes, however, stay on."
Kimberly: I don't know if I'd want to watch naked bowlers.
Kimberly: I suppose it's a bit better that they're dancers and models.
Mark: I'd watch just for .... well just because.
Kimberly: But still. bowling positions?
Kimberly: uhm.
Kimberly: no.
Mark: Funny!
Kimberly: This whole conversation is definitely going on the web page.
Mark: laugh...I don't see why.
Kimberly: Because I'll have it for posterity that you'd watch naked bowling party.
Mark: Hey! You didn't mention that blackmail was part of the deal...
Mark: Then again, I'm proud of that...I aspire to naked bowling!
Kimberly: [ insert psycho shower scene music here ]
Mark: Hmm...reel.com doesn't have Nude Bowling Party apparently.
Kimberly: Imagine that.
Mark: although there's a note here that says the title is for rent at most Hollywood Video stores...and I *have* membership there.
Mark: So...add that to my list of weekend activities.
Kimberly: You're actually going to rent "Naked Bowling Party"
Mark: If I can.
Kimberly: You're going to put it on the counter and say, "Yes! I'd like to rent this right now so I can go home and watch some naked women squat and bowl."
Mark: It might have men too.
Kimberly: I doubt it.
Mark: Oh I think it has to.
Kimberly: Not if it's at Hollywood Video.
Kimberly: I don't think there will be many prominent schlong shots.
Mark: Hang on...it's on IMDB.
Mark: Okay it's four girls, you're right.
Mark: Darn.
Kimberly: I'm not so proud that I knew that.
Kimberly: well figured it out.
Mark: Uh huh...don't cover up now.
Kimberly: It'll ruin my reputation as an innocent.
Mark: No pun intended.
Kimberly: [ THWACK!! ]
Mark: It's ranked 8.2 out of 10 on IMDB.
Kimberly: I'm sure it's all kitsch.
Mark: Well there are only 5 votes.
Kimberly: uh huh.
Mark: You really need to read this first review, seriously. I want to watch this even more now. This guy is very logical.
Mark: http://us.imdb.com/CommentsShow?0175972
Kimberly: Funny, that review does not make it sound more appealing to me.
Mark: I'm not surprised...but you don't understand.
Kimberly: I've never claimed to understand your bowling obsession. THREE balls. You go to Vegas to BOWL. I don't think I'll ever understand.
Mark: grin
Kimberly: oh god.
Mark: Someday...someday...
Kimberly: A bad conversation just popped in my head.
Kimberly: That was centered around the juxtaposition of bowling balls and porn.
Kimberly: [ bleach and wired brush brain ]
Kimberly: ”Three balls” made an interesting twist.
Kimberly: We'll speak no more of this.
Kimberly: ack.
Kimberly: Let's talk about sesame street.
Mark: grin
Mark: I'm not sure that's a logical transition.
Kimberly: Probably fraught with danger at this point.
Kimberly: I mean, one mention of Mr. Snuffleupagus and the conversation slides downhill again.
Mark: Okay I'm going to stop and reset my thinking. I expect you to be off that page when my mind returns.
Mark: [ BEGIN CYCLE ]
Mark: [ PURIFYING ]
Mark: [ RINSE ]
Kimberly: bahahaha
…
Kimberly: I need a boyfriend so I can nickname his penis Mr. Snuffleupagus.
Kimberly: Although, I nicknamed Pig’s penis Mr. Belvedere and we never dated so I don't know what's stopping me.
Mark: [ sigh ]
Kimberly: what?!
Mark: [ BEGIN CYCLE ]
Mark: [ PURIFYING ]
Kimberly: we used to hum the theme to Mr. Belvedere every time we saw him.
Mark: [ ERROR - RESTART ]